Here’s to 2013 a Thank You from me to you

This year was filled with so many kind people, I know I could not have made it through without you!

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Most of the year I was here

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Toothaches, kidneys and near death oh my!

From the local elementary school I caught a cold I thought was the flu

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Until the flu invaded and taught me the error of my assumption.

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You were always there for me though.

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Through the silence of my madness you were the perma-lift supporting my recovery!

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I felt the beauty of your support and thank you all!

The highs and lows of my writing were celebrated and sympathized by all, I thank you for showing me

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There were letters ending in Thank you, Best of luck, Best regards and my favorite Warm regards (not being sarcastic). I completely felt warmly regarded

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and sallied forth with my writing career, eventually pulling a rabbit out of my hat.

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I was ecstatic to add playwright to my resume

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Okay, it wasn’t quite Shakespeare but I felt the love nonetheless!

Thank you DYSPLA,

DYSPLA Festival

Decoding Dyslexia and many others

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for ending the year with a bang!

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There were parties I went to and new people I met.

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There were great e-mails and new friendships made

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You will find us on life’s pier saluting the naysayers Braveheart style

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With the year at an end, I have plenty to look forward to.

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There are several projects on my table, some may cost me my life

Others may only leave me hungry.

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All in all, I am looking forward to 2014 and all mayhem these projects will bring.

Hope to see you there,

 

DyslexicWhisper

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Sunshine Award

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What a wonderful way to begin my week! Thank you Melissa Gaines for the nomination.                                                                     Melissa Gaines Twitter link: @melGmow 

The fact that you thought of my blog fills my world with sunshine! Your triumphs in life have helped and inspire me. What a beautiful person you are. I encourage all to check out Melissa’s blog:

Forever Fitting In

After receiving the nomination, the blogger must:

1. Acknowledge the nominating blogger;
2. Share 11 random facts about yourself;
3. Answer 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you;
4. List 11 bloggers. They should be bloggers that you believe deserve some recognition and a little blogging love!
5. Post 11 questions for the bloggers that you nominated to answer; and
6. Let all of the bloggers know that they’ve been nominated. You cannot nominate the blogger that nominated you.

11 Random Facts

  1. I have sixteen siblings. Although I have not lived with all of them they are dear to my heart.
  2. My mother is my idol and my father is my hero!
  3. I have been scalped. lol. I was in a car accident when I was eight-months pregnant. Just before my head went through the windshield it wiped the controls from the ceiling, in return, scalping me. 360 stitches and a reverse mo-hawk later, I was in possession of my scalp again.
  4. The things that make my world worth living: family, sarcasm, documentaries, history and writing.
  5. I love writing classes. Looking forward to this fall!
  6. I studied Maria Montessori in college and accidentally found the keys to my learning style.
  7. My sister, Jeni, is an endless source of pride for me. Her accomplishments and life are awe-inspiring.
  8. Whenever I go to target I open a box of crayons and smell them. Best ever!

     9. I was Prom Queen, Class President and Activities Director at my tiny high school.

    10. One of the best things in life is playing tag with little kids. I use to be a party host at a children’s play center (four years ago). Instead of awkward small talk with the adults I would lead the children in a game of extreme-tag using the giant play structure. I can run up a double slide doing a sharp 180 at the top launching myself back down ending in an impressive four foot double hop at the bottom. All without being caught by 30 maniac 5 year-olds. Now that my friends is living!

     11. I’ve loved wearing hats since I was a toddler.

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11 Questions: (Nominees: Please answer these same questions)

What’s your favorite meal of the day — breakfast, lunch or dinner?

The one that I did not have to make!

 What’s your favorite fruit?

My older sister Sandy. LOLOL

When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up? 

A stunt woman. My cousin Tony would tie a rope to his bike and race off with me on my skates holding on for dear life. I thought I was headed for stardom. He would also hold on to my hand and foot twirling as quickly as possible, finally launching me into the prickly bushes. He was one year older and five times my size. Best memories EVER! (not being sarcastic)

What quality do you find most attractive in others? 

Humor.

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What’s your favorite sport? 

Extreme exercising with Sandy. (Biking for 7 hours. Full contact brownie grabbing.) She built an air-conditioned, exercise/movie theater room in her backyard. No seats, just cardio-machines and flat screen/surround sound. Downton Abbey Marathon here we come.

What’s your favorite candy? 

The kind I sneak into a theater.

What’s your favorite online shopping website?

Amazon

What’s your pet peeve?

People that never took the time to get to know me but don’t like me.

Winter, spring, summer or fall? 

Fall in California. Smells sooo wonderful!

How many pairs of shoes do you have?

No idea. I don’t wear shoes unless I have to. But I love boots and I have a pair of HEELYS. lol

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The Blogs I Nominate Are:

 You should visit their blogs.  Support the worlds starving bloggers and don’t forget to “like” and share.
~Dyslexicwhisper

Dyslexic Parents I Salute You!

I may not always be organized, remember everything or get to soccer practice on time. These are only some of my weaknesses. We as dyslexic parents can bring something else to the table though, a different approach. 

We can create a boat out of a trampoline and help our children to imagine the carpet as an enchanted lake where they can fish in the living room!

We can create alphabet soup in the swimming pool to help learn the ABC’s.

We can paint the garage door like the American flag to be patriotic!

We can help our children to fly like Up for their birthday!

We can build enchanted two story tree houses out of walk in closets to foster our children’s imaginations. 

And, if we forget your tennis shoes we always remember the butterfly net!

What are some of the memories you have?

Happy dyslexic parenting, and never forget your strengths! 

~Dyslexicwhisper

Passwords, Captchas and the blood of a virgin!

SO, I have scoured the internet and landed on a blog worthy of my time. Worthy of being e-mailed directly to my inbox. Maybe even worthy of  adding to my tool bar! THAT worthy!

I am seconds from unlocking the wisdom of others. Uncovering the truths that elude me.

They assure me, with just a couple of easy clicks, I will be a priority member of this amazing cult blog. The blog police just have to make sure I am human. Insert captcha request.

OUT COMES MY INNER DYSLEXIC NINJA!

I’ve got this!

SCPAIVI    …. No ….

No worries. I come at it full force!

….. 

SCUMMY …. NO!…. Shit! I regroup… and focus…

 ….    

SCRUMDILLIUMPTIOUS …..NO!!……  Now I’m lost!

I start looking for words in the dictionary, thesaurus and Holy Bible.

I question myself… always wondering…if the blog really is ALL that it claims to be?  if so, why must I suffer to obtain this information? Is this an academic club that will forever be out of reach?

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I pull out all the stops and find the unstoppable true ninja within. Giving it one last try.

     

…. SCRAM …..

The world unlocks!

  Everything within reach.

…..AFTER I verify my email! WHAT?!?! Really!

Easy enough. I go to my email account. Clever dyslexic that I am, I bypass the “sign in” page because I store the ID and password on my computer that  my horrific memory cannot. Only to be denied once again.

Not me! Dyslexic Ninja to the rescue!

My ID comes easy enough. I start to type and the computer remembers the rest.

The password is a different story.

I search my memory for what was going on in my life around the time of the last password change. I try: CHOColate …. An error message comes up saying this is not my password.

I think and revise to: CHOColateNOW! Nothing…

I try: FoCusGrAsShOpPeR

… Not a chance!   The computer helpfully reminds me I changed my password 36 days ago.

I give the computer a mental B***H SLAP! And press the “Forgot your password” option.

The computer gives me the choice of answering three of my six secret questions. SCORE! I got this, right?!?! I mean these questions were chosen by me and they are about me. How can anything go wrong?

The first choice: What is your favorite color.

Lock. Load. Fire! Green, baby! My favorite color is green! Two to go.

I scroll to choose the next question.

My other options: What was your third grade teachers name?

My third grade teacher. hmmm. Did I even know how to spell her name then? And if I get the right spelling do I need to capitalize the first letter?

NEXT!

What color panties are you wearing?

My panties?!? I’m wearing my Tuesday panties! But… Was it Tuesday when my sarcastic ass thought of this question??? Skip!

Who was your childhood best friend?

What was your first pet’s name?

And finally, How much wood can a wood chuck chuck?

My mind starts to race, my hands clammy.

I go for the best friend question and type in her name. Nope! Wait! What? Oh yeah, I used her nick name. I spell out Samwisegamgee, not seeing the humor that I am sure had me rolling when I made this brilliant decision 36 days ago!

After the sadistic image of me kicking a wood chuck races through my mind, I enter my childhood pet’s name. O’Guy.

I am taken to the password changing page. After filling the requirements that my password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin

   

I gather these necessary elements for the complex new password and am finally redirected to the much anticipated holy grail of blogs, I anxiously await the first topic:

101 writing tips!

ARGHHHHHH!

I think I owe a virgin an apology!

~Dyslexicwhisper

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic! Ha!! I love this. It is me through and through.

When I tell someone I am dyslexic they often say, “So you read and write things backwards.” This does not come out like a question. The fact that people can put any of what dyslexia is about into words is a good thing. Personally I am more of an inside out perspective. Lemons inside out is Melons. This is me.

I recently tried explaining what it is like for me to edit my work. When I visualize editing something I have written, a meat tenderizer always comes to mind.

You see, I write something and reread it. To the best of my ability my work will pass my inspection. I will then let it “rest” for a while and go back for a once over  later. When I do (this is where the meat tenderizer comes in) I pulverize my work. I will say to myself, that doesn’t sound right. I will recognize the missing word and type it in. Now, say the missing word is LEMONS easy enough fix, right? Wrong.

I will look at my freshly typed word and think, that doesn’t look right.

I will modify LEMONS with my favorite writing tool the all important meat tenderizer. Reworking until Life itself will question the sanity of placing LEMONS in my care.

I will then ask someone around me to spell it, matching the letters one by one. This always takes two times through the word. I will then ask my appointed speller if they are sure. And, for some twisted fate in life they’re always positive.

I will come out of said revise with Melons and shake my fist at the Gods Of Revision.

In the end I am left with life giving me one more of those extra Melons. I quickly take it away and put it with the mountains of other Melons life has given me.

Now compound that one word into a whole manuscript of words and add in punctuation. Eventually winding up here.

Some people, when asked what they want most in life, will answer with things like happiness, peace of mind. Not me. My wish would be for an editor or a beta reader. You see the definition of peace of mind for me would be to spell the word Lemons and know without a doubt that it is in fact Lemons staring back at me. As for happiness? Well, all I can tell you is when life hands out Lemons I always get Melons and who wouldn’t be happy with an endless supply of Melons!!

Writing Writing Tips For Less Knowledgeable Writers Is Supposed To Help Me Reach My Target Audience?

If you ask how to drive traffic to your blog the answer is almost always the same. Provide something of value to your potential reader. This is always followed by writing tips.

The blog I’m supposed to write. 101 writing tips.

The underlying point of a writer blogging about the rules of the trade is (according to other successful authors): To gain traffic so people will find out about and buy your book. There are SO many of these blogs it is mind boggling. But when an author blogs about writing tips and then spams a million “buy my children’s book” tweets, I get confused.

My question: Why would you think that your future readers are other writers? Sure, writers usually love reading but they are not your target audience.

Don’t get me wrong, I love reading about writing tips. I have grown as a writer because of those tips and I need them. But my novel is geared towards  young adults. Shouldn’t I be trying to get the fans of bands like One direction to read my blog?? I am a young adult author, they are young adults, that would seem logical to me.

The answer is no, leave “One Directioners” alone and concentrate on your genre or purpose.  (Trust me, unless you are One Direction, trying to sell your auto-biography, these fans are NOT interested, no matter what you blog about.)

Am I the only one who sees a flaw in the “writing tips” method? Personally, I value creative over perfect only because I cannot always see your mistakes (being dyslexic me) but I can immerse myself into your cleverly written world. (And, if you break the rules of writing for a clever, creative purpose, I will immediately consider you a kindred spirit.)

Now, if the purpose of writing tips is to attract your peers than this is a very effective method. But, if you are looking for your target audience, know who they are and what they like. Theme your blog around those guidelines because I bet their not interested in writing tips. Then tweet about your blog and have that lead them to your book.

For example: Say your novel’s genre is paranormal, I would include something like this link:

Most Haunted Real Places http://inventorspot.com/13_real_haunted_places?page=0%252C1

Gain interest in your novel by immersing your audience in what they love. Take them on a virtual tour that will scare the shit out of them. Or treat them to a bit of the urban-legend that prompted you to write your sure-to-be best selling thriller. If you make it clever I assure you, your readers will periodically check back in to see where else you can take them. Eventually they WILL by your book.

If they love romance and your novel is just that, then maybe an article about relationships, or, if you wanted me to buy your book/read your blog, include this picture. I assure you I will buy whatever this man is selling!

If you are writing a non-fiction about something like gardening, a link like this may be of interest to your reader: http://www.garden.org/

http://www.garden.org/regional/report/arch/inmygarden/4318

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These people are dying to know how others get carrots to grow in the desert. Keep your blog about gardening and leave out the writing tips. Who knows, you may even attract the interest of people behind said link, prompting them to mention your work. Credible website says buy your book, sounds like marketing gold if you ask me!

Whatever your genre create a buzz of awesome information, immersing your target audience in what they love. It makes sense and gives your blog purpose. This is what I will be doing as my writing career eeks along.

If you have a manuscript and are trying to attract the illusive agent/publisher, make your blog samples of your writing style. Focus on your strengths.

If you are like me, you are learning as you go. A blog about writing is not only appreciated but necessary. But if your tweeting “buy my book” and making everyone mad, I suggest writing a blog that sparks an interest for your target audience. Then you can tweet about your latest posts and sell some books based on the creative and vast knowledge of your genre. This can save a LOT of wasted time. Not to mention the Twitter Police will stop writing “what not to do” articles (that really are true, sorry to say) about you.

I have accomplished a great many goals with this blog. For me it serves a multitude of purposes. I look forward to doing some creative posts about my up and coming genre, adding randomly to  my writing portfolio and connecting with individuals/groups with common interests.

I wish you all the best and hope you enjoyed my cleverly disguised (must have) post about writing tips. LOL ~Dyslexicwhisper

I Had A Dream: A Thank You From Me To You!

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As the year wraps up and I am fully immersed in the holiday season I want to take a minute to say thank you! Thank you to my readers, friends, family and my internet community!

At first the year started out like this…

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And I was stuck in my metaphorical tower…

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Afraid to put myself out there…

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I decided to try anyways. And most of the first few months felt like this…

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Many moments felt like this…

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But I started to get the hang of things and I figured out what I needed…

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The more time I spent doing this…

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The more people I came to know…

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And the more they came to feel like family…

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A few even became close…

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They helped steer me away from anything suspicious…

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And anyone suspicious…

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I put together my professional image…

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I was able to cling to that illusion even when I felt like this…

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I met a great publisher…

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And they shared their secrets with me…

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They gave me direction…

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I hold dearly the time they have invested in my work…

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This opened up possibilities for me…

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They wanted to know who I was…

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I showed them how I think…

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I found out that underdog was really the definition of superhero…

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This kept me from to much…

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In turn stopping me from going…

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My best friend is my sister. I call her my Samwise because she will walk to the fiery mountain with me. Always standing by my side.

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Oftentimes leading the way, sometimes even carrying me…

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I love her with all my heart and soul…

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I went to some great parties…

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I met interesting people and introduced them to my personality …

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I learned not to take life too seriously…

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And when I look back at all the people I have met and all the milestones I have accomplished I am happy to say I love my life and everyone in it! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

So thank you and Happy Holidays!

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DYSLEXICWHISPER

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Why I never said your name but can see the energy around you.

I have always said, “If I can ‘see’ it, I can do it.” This is true, from drawing a picture, playing golf and even doing my taxes (keeping a running figure in my head, as to what it will end up like, all the year through).

um… I cannot picture punctuation. lol

Anyways, I (not so long ago) worked at a children’s play center. I loved this job and my employers. When I met one of the co-owners she introduced herself. Her name was a slight variation of Kristen, but no matter how much I practiced it in my head, I always froze unable to get the pronunciation (holy crap I spelled that word right) …. I always froze unable to say her name. I could not, to save my life, get this woman’s name out. She would look at me puzzled, I knew she wondered what my problem was, but “I’m dyslexic” never quite explained it. Although I seem to say it as if I had turrets. I’m dyslexic, I’m dyslexic. It starts to sound like I have a self-esteem issue. And I am not saying that was not part of it. Heavens knows I have not taken part in conversations enough because I know humiliation is right around that corner. But not in this case. I just could not get my word out.

Now I am still figuring out and rummaging through all my memories as to what the heck happened at such-and-such part in my life, and how dyslexia played a roll in my behavior. Great and not so great. And come to find out, my life was drenched in a constant dyslexic frustration. But after reading a wonderful snippet of a book I one day hope to buy, Dyslexia and Creativity: Investigations from Differing Perspectives, I have to admit, Yes, that (what he wrote) is what I was trying to say or figure out. Mick Bean the Author of said snippet had ‘been there done that’ so to speak, and he helped me to see that which I did not know, that was keeping me from ‘seeing’ what my problem was. lol (sort That sentence out!)

You see, I can look at any green and putt the ball in the hole. I won second place in a tournament my first time out. I only putted my husband did the rest. It’s almost like seeing the energy of what is and what I want to happen. Same goes with my taxes. I can look at my oncoming year as if it were a flip-book, seeing every dollar coming in and out until I have the figure in my head. I don’t even have to try. It’s like it is All ‘logged’ up there in my head. My head that cannot spell, punctuate or even say a dear friends name can in 30 seconds figure out my taxes (as long as I don’t have to write them out).

I can find a location anywhere if let loose to just give it a go, but cannot follow simple directions to anyplace to save my life. Whenever I had to take my kids somewhere, and had to go by direction, I would end up telling them “it’s an adventure”. ha ha bless their hearts for loving me unconditionally. On the other hand, my husband (boyfriend at the time) once told me about his job site and how the sun came up in such -and-such way and how it smelt and how beautiful it was, and, no kidding, I surprised him for lunch one day and got there based only on that information and how it related to the (not familiar to me) area that he worked in, some 35miles away. Crazy? Maybe, but true all the same. If I didn’t have to “think” I am confident I can find anyplace by this weird sense of direction I have programmed into me.

So, my point is, if someone wants to pay me to play a world wide game of hide-and-seek, I am in need of employment. We wont even have to yell Marco/Polo. Just paint me a picture my mind can put to life and I will be able to make my fortune. What will You get out of it?? How ’bout a kick-ass, unbelievable game of hide-and-seek.

Whisper THAT! HA!

Sexy music to work out to (and others)

If I am going to work out I need to feel one of three things: Empowered (these are usually man hating songs, go figure because I am anything BUT a man hater. I rather like the buggers), Sexy (my sexy and everyone else’s sexy I am sure are two different things), Dance (not the arms bent elbow wiggling dance, no, this is the expel you from your prom, eject you from the concert or club, be it sexy or mosh or take over the dance floor kind) Rave, 80’s, metal, or man hater this is what will pass that hour or two.

So in no particular order I will let you in on my psyche. Keep in mind what ever I come up with probably will not reflect the sweaty struggling mess you would see if you walked in on this routine.

  • Bad Romance… Lady GaGa
  • Poor Some Sugar Me… Def Leppard   … Because in the back of my mind I can still mold my tired ass into a hot Def Leppard music video model.. um, okay, waaay back in my mind (and I think plastic surgery may have influenced this thought)
  • Rag Doll… Aerosmith     … Aerosmith rocks this list!
  • Pink… Aerosmith
  • Freak On A Leash… Korn  … Why? IDK myself, but yes this works for me
  • Hey There Delilah… Plain White T’s   …. I forgot this category, it’s the lower your heart rate you little fool, what were you thinking trying to work your slug of a body to Korn Category?!?
  • No More Tears… Ozzy   … This seems to be an all purpose song for me, and why shouldn’t it be? It is That awesome!
  • I’m Sexy and I Know It… LMAFO   … At this point in my workout I need to smile (or give up) and this song brings on the smile…. wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle lol
  • Welcome To The Jungle… Guns N Roses
  • Rolling In The Deep… Adele   … She is awesome
  • Come Undone… Duran Duran   … Once again feeling like my heart is going to explode on my elliptical machine is a scary place to be, so insert this song, plus it makes the sexy list
  • Sweet Child of Mine… Guns N Roses   … At this point I am at a cross road in this grueling workout and I will keep going through this song just to hear it which in turn gets me over that give up feeling.
  •  Rolling In The Deep… Adele
  • Pump It… Black eyed Peas
  • Shakira… Shakira   … Sexy
  • Talk Dirty To Me… Poison   …. Yes please
  • Cum On Feel The Noize… Quiet Riot
  • Love Bites…   Deff Leppard   … Yes please
  • I remember You…. Skidd Row   …I love Hair band Ballads (I think this is one, if not I love Hair band songs like this. lol)
  • Whenever, Whenever… Shakira   … What is Not sexy about Shakira?
  • Say My Name… Beyonce
  • Desire… U2   … That’s Hot!
  • Pink… Aerosmith   … This band and almost everything they sing.

So thinking on Aerosmith I can say that I could listen to any album through and it would keep me going. The next few are Albums.

  • Areosmith…  Nine Lives, A Little South Of Sanity. Lovin Steve
  • Ozzy Osbourne…   No More Tears. This Album is Musical Genius
  • U2…   Go Home Live From Slane Castle Ireland (the movie) serious poundage has been lost to this movie!
  • Tool…   Undertow   Love IT!
  • Pink… Misunderstood
  • Dixie Chicks… Wide Open Spaces, Fly… Lol had to go all country but it’s great girl power stuff
  • Candlebox…   Candlebox
  • Boston…   Rock And Roll Band
  • Shakira…   Laundry Srvice, love it!

AND For the last song in each workout I have to listen to Billionaire by Travie Mccoy and Bruno Mars because if I were, I could just get surgery and be done with it.

There are many more I am forgetting but this list will see me through

I sold my soul to promote my blog! LOL

I often surf through blogs looking for the funny or different. When I came across one that’s owner was promoting other blogs (as long as they told a personal and embarrassing story) I had  to submit. One because I love the traffic and feedback. Another because I have so many of these stories, why the hell not!

So here is my entry to said blog promoter:

I love to fish! I spent the better of one year (a while ago) driving down the remote levees looking for great spots, often stopping.

Now, if you have ever fished in the middle of nowhere you are aware of how inventive you have to be when you have to go to the bathroom.

So, I am in my overalls and white tank-top soaking up the sun in a very remote part of our glorious country, trying my luck at the ever elusive striper, when I had to go. I look up and down the bare levee with no luck for shelter, unless I walked back to the road where it was lined with sparse trees. Up I go.

When I get to the top I realize the road across the river is quite busy, therefore, my only choice is now the cab of my truck. But that’s alright, right? It was a road that was almost never used, I should be safe.

Off go the overalls, after I find a container. … I just sold my soul to promote my blog…. ha ha ha… ANYWAYS, off go the overalls, and as I am doing my business a very sleek bicyclist rides past looking straight in on me. Oh, wait, what was that? A number on his back?!??! NOT one bicyclist but a WHOLE marathon of these fools! URGH! In groups of twos and fours these men rode past, everyone getting an eye full of my personality.