I See In 3D

My grandmother-in-law was in the hospital recently. She is 96 and had an infection in one of her legs. What was supposed to be a routine check on her leg turned into a four day nightmare. They admitted her and began intense antibiotics. They gave her sleep aids and pain killers but explained little. She began to feel out of control and fearful. What she thought she was seeing turned out to be (from what I gather) side effects of the medicine. And what I insist as malnourishment from fear of eating and fatigue from adrenaline fueled by fear. She could not sleep. She would not eat.

When she asked that I come stay with her I went with the intention of easing her stay any way I could. I remember a time in life where I wished someone would simply watch over me so I could sleep. She was gifting me with her trust and I was determined not to fail her.

During my time with her the specialist came in pulling at her blanket wanting to examine her. “Remember this woman is 96,” I demanded. She comes from a time where women wore pantyhose at ALL times or were considered indecent. She came from 1916. My history friends will understand that America in this time period was not even the same planet as it is now. Men do NOT bring in groups of training doctors to view 96 year old women in this manner without taking a piece of the woman’s integrity when they leave.

I am not a doctor. I do not even claim that what they were doing was wrong. Maybe they see things that I do not. I only asked that they consider the person as they proceed. What I wanted to give her was peace of mind. I brought my computer and iPod. I showed her that the medical staff and family member (from the lady sharing her room) were not out to get her with their strange handheld electronic devises. They were not in “cahoots”, like she claimed, but were probably on Facebook. Then I opened up my Facebook on my iPod and showed her pictures of her grand-kids and her children and the lives she had no idea were so accessible. In the end she said she would rather be gardening, despite the many hours she could see being consumed looking at everyone’s “grass is greener” photos.

The night was long and I was tired but when the situation would get the better of her I switched from my iPod to my laptop to give her old eyes a better view. The screen was now large enough to engage her in these precious family photos that were taken with the current generation’s iOS devices. Bless her heart, we giggled and awed at some and then looked surprised at the more risqué photos. I got to see the world from 1916. It was beautiful. It deserved respect. She was NOT losing her grip on reality she was simply trying to cope in a world that was developing faster than she could access.

I stayed up all night and only took my eyes off her once (Guests were not allowed to use the bathroom in the room) but I explained this to her and everything else that she heard and saw that she did not understand. From the rolling cart of the late night custodian to vibration of the staffs feet when they had to rush off for a patients emergency she was scared and I knew the mind can be a powerful enemy. She was not convinced by all of my explanations but she grew to trust me that night because I never lied to her or talked down to her. There was never a sensation that was too insignificant for me to explain. And I offered the explanations without her asking.

She was convinced they were holding her against her will. I stayed with her until she was released and when we got outside I asked her if she could smell anything. She looked at me funny and said no. I told her to take a big whiff, because that was the smell of sweet freedom. She laughed and then looked at me seriously. Then she told me something that I hadn’t realized I needed so desperately. She said, “You know kid, I love you.”

This to me is my gift of dyslexia. To see things in 3D. To understand from all directions. I made a friend that day. A friendship that levels me at how genuine it is.

I try to look at everyone with this 3D approach. Every child discovered not labeled. Every elderly person deserves explanation not condemnation and every disability deserves redefining.

Almost 100 years together. Perfection!

Whisper This,



Sexy music to work out to (and others)

If I am going to work out I need to feel one of three things: Empowered (these are usually man hating songs, go figure because I am anything BUT a man hater. I rather like the buggers), Sexy (my sexy and everyone else’s sexy I am sure are two different things), Dance (not the arms bent elbow wiggling dance, no, this is the expel you from your prom, eject you from the concert or club, be it sexy or mosh or take over the dance floor kind) Rave, 80’s, metal, or man hater this is what will pass that hour or two.

So in no particular order I will let you in on my psyche. Keep in mind what ever I come up with probably will not reflect the sweaty struggling mess you would see if you walked in on this routine.

  • Bad Romance… Lady GaGa
  • Poor Some Sugar Me… Def Leppard   … Because in the back of my mind I can still mold my tired ass into a hot Def Leppard music video model.. um, okay, waaay back in my mind (and I think plastic surgery may have influenced this thought)
  • Rag Doll… Aerosmith     … Aerosmith rocks this list!
  • Pink… Aerosmith
  • Freak On A Leash… Korn  … Why? IDK myself, but yes this works for me
  • Hey There Delilah… Plain White T’s   …. I forgot this category, it’s the lower your heart rate you little fool, what were you thinking trying to work your slug of a body to Korn Category?!?
  • No More Tears… Ozzy   … This seems to be an all purpose song for me, and why shouldn’t it be? It is That awesome!
  • I’m Sexy and I Know It… LMAFO   … At this point in my workout I need to smile (or give up) and this song brings on the smile…. wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle lol
  • Welcome To The Jungle… Guns N Roses
  • Rolling In The Deep… Adele   … She is awesome
  • Come Undone… Duran Duran   … Once again feeling like my heart is going to explode on my elliptical machine is a scary place to be, so insert this song, plus it makes the sexy list
  • Sweet Child of Mine… Guns N Roses   … At this point I am at a cross road in this grueling workout and I will keep going through this song just to hear it which in turn gets me over that give up feeling.
  •  Rolling In The Deep… Adele
  • Pump It… Black eyed Peas
  • Shakira… Shakira   … Sexy
  • Talk Dirty To Me… Poison   …. Yes please
  • Cum On Feel The Noize… Quiet Riot
  • Love Bites…   Deff Leppard   … Yes please
  • I remember You…. Skidd Row   …I love Hair band Ballads (I think this is one, if not I love Hair band songs like this. lol)
  • Whenever, Whenever… Shakira   … What is Not sexy about Shakira?
  • Say My Name… Beyonce
  • Desire… U2   … That’s Hot!
  • Pink… Aerosmith   … This band and almost everything they sing.

So thinking on Aerosmith I can say that I could listen to any album through and it would keep me going. The next few are Albums.

  • Areosmith…  Nine Lives, A Little South Of Sanity. Lovin Steve
  • Ozzy Osbourne…   No More Tears. This Album is Musical Genius
  • U2…   Go Home Live From Slane Castle Ireland (the movie) serious poundage has been lost to this movie!
  • Tool…   Undertow   Love IT!
  • Pink… Misunderstood
  • Dixie Chicks… Wide Open Spaces, Fly… Lol had to go all country but it’s great girl power stuff
  • Candlebox…   Candlebox
  • Boston…   Rock And Roll Band
  • Shakira…   Laundry Srvice, love it!

AND For the last song in each workout I have to listen to Billionaire by Travie Mccoy and Bruno Mars because if I were, I could just get surgery and be done with it.

There are many more I am forgetting but this list will see me through

I sold my soul to promote my blog! LOL

I often surf through blogs looking for the funny or different. When I came across one that’s owner was promoting other blogs (as long as they told a personal and embarrassing story) I had  to submit. One because I love the traffic and feedback. Another because I have so many of these stories, why the hell not!

So here is my entry to said blog promoter:

I love to fish! I spent the better of one year (a while ago) driving down the remote levees looking for great spots, often stopping.

Now, if you have ever fished in the middle of nowhere you are aware of how inventive you have to be when you have to go to the bathroom.

So, I am in my overalls and white tank-top soaking up the sun in a very remote part of our glorious country, trying my luck at the ever elusive striper, when I had to go. I look up and down the bare levee with no luck for shelter, unless I walked back to the road where it was lined with sparse trees. Up I go.

When I get to the top I realize the road across the river is quite busy, therefore, my only choice is now the cab of my truck. But that’s alright, right? It was a road that was almost never used, I should be safe.

Off go the overalls, after I find a container. … I just sold my soul to promote my blog…. ha ha ha… ANYWAYS, off go the overalls, and as I am doing my business a very sleek bicyclist rides past looking straight in on me. Oh, wait, what was that? A number on his back?!??! NOT one bicyclist but a WHOLE marathon of these fools! URGH! In groups of twos and fours these men rode past, everyone getting an eye full of my personality.