Dyslexic Words

She is born

She is perfect, she says

She is the happiest little girl, she boasts

She dances to a different drummer, she laughs

I like to dance, I say

She can draw, he says

I like to draw, I say

You are creative, she says

Everything I see is beautiful, I say

Tell me what you mean, she says

I don’t know how, I say

I am me, I celebrate

She is enrolled, they say

I am excited, I celebrate

She has a temper, she says

She is falling behind, they say

I don’t know what it says, I argue

She is deficient, they say

She is dyslexic, they whisper

But, I am me, I say

She is not paying attention, she says

I am sorry, I say

She is copying it wrong, they huff

I am sorry, I say

She is late, she says

I am sorry, I say

She is weird, they say

I am me, I mumble

That was the funniest thing I ever read, she says

I cannot see it, I urge

Follow the words of the song, she instructs

I would rather make up my own, I dodge

She is lazy, they growl

I am sorry, I say

She is unorganized, they complain

I am trying, I whisper

You don’t belong here, they say

I can do it, I plead

There goes the dumbest girl you will ever meet, he says

I hate me, I say

Welcome, here we will be sure to push you through, they say

You want to make me hallow, I ask

That is how you will get a diploma, because you cannot do it, they say

I am ashamed, I think

Don’t think, they say

I hate me, I say

She is not paying attention, he says

NO, you’re not paying attention, I plead

I can do it like this, I explain

NO, and you don’t have to explain, they say

I WILL find a way to explain, I know

I tested out of reading, I jump up and down

um, good for you, they slowly back away

I could live in that story, I dream

Here is your test, they say

Here is your money, I gasp

You are the most disoriented dyslexic adult we have ever met, they smile

I kinda knew it, I murmur

No you are wonderful, they explain

I am me, I say

Here is your computer, he says

Here is your money, I gasp

Hi we are all dyslexic, they tweet

I am a thinker, he says

I ma creative, he greets

I am clever, he says

I understand, she laughs

I am a buisnessman, he offers

I have empathey, she tweets

I have courage, she writes

I am home, I sigh

Dyslexicwhisper

Why I never said your name but can see the energy around you.

I have always said, “If I can ‘see’ it, I can do it.” This is true, from drawing a picture, playing golf and even doing my taxes (keeping a running figure in my head, as to what it will end up like, all the year through).

um… I cannot picture punctuation. lol

Anyways, I (not so long ago) worked at a children’s play center. I loved this job and my employers. When I met one of the co-owners she introduced herself. Her name was a slight variation of Kristen, but no matter how much I practiced it in my head, I always froze unable to get the pronunciation (holy crap I spelled that word right) …. I always froze unable to say her name. I could not, to save my life, get this woman’s name out. She would look at me puzzled, I knew she wondered what my problem was, but “I’m dyslexic” never quite explained it. Although I seem to say it as if I had turrets. I’m dyslexic, I’m dyslexic. It starts to sound like I have a self-esteem issue. And I am not saying that was not part of it. Heavens knows I have not taken part in conversations enough because I know humiliation is right around that corner. But not in this case. I just could not get my word out.

Now I am still figuring out and rummaging through all my memories as to what the heck happened at such-and-such part in my life, and how dyslexia played a roll in my behavior. Great and not so great. And come to find out, my life was drenched in a constant dyslexic frustration. But after reading a wonderful snippet of a book I one day hope to buy, Dyslexia and Creativity: Investigations from Differing Perspectives, I have to admit, Yes, that (what he wrote) is what I was trying to say or figure out. Mick Bean the Author of said snippet had ‘been there done that’ so to speak, and he helped me to see that which I did not know, that was keeping me from ‘seeing’ what my problem was. lol (sort That sentence out!)

You see, I can look at any green and putt the ball in the hole. I won second place in a tournament my first time out. I only putted my husband did the rest. It’s almost like seeing the energy of what is and what I want to happen. Same goes with my taxes. I can look at my oncoming year as if it were a flip-book, seeing every dollar coming in and out until I have the figure in my head. I don’t even have to try. It’s like it is All ‘logged’ up there in my head. My head that cannot spell, punctuate or even say a dear friends name can in 30 seconds figure out my taxes (as long as I don’t have to write them out).

I can find a location anywhere if let loose to just give it a go, but cannot follow simple directions to anyplace to save my life. Whenever I had to take my kids somewhere, and had to go by direction, I would end up telling them “it’s an adventure”. ha ha bless their hearts for loving me unconditionally. On the other hand, my husband (boyfriend at the time) once told me about his job site and how the sun came up in such -and-such way and how it smelt and how beautiful it was, and, no kidding, I surprised him for lunch one day and got there based only on that information and how it related to the (not familiar to me) area that he worked in, some 35miles away. Crazy? Maybe, but true all the same. If I didn’t have to “think” I am confident I can find anyplace by this weird sense of direction I have programmed into me.

So, my point is, if someone wants to pay me to play a world wide game of hide-and-seek, I am in need of employment. We wont even have to yell Marco/Polo. Just paint me a picture my mind can put to life and I will be able to make my fortune. What will You get out of it?? How ’bout a kick-ass, unbelievable game of hide-and-seek.

Whisper THAT! HA!

Query This!

I have always wanted to start my query letter off with: Dear Query Gods. Because lets face it, that’s how it feels.

Dear Query Gods,

Thank you for being out there to glance at my plea. It has taken me twice as long to write this as it did the novel, but that is okay because I understand that each Query God needs to be worshiped in a different way (by the way your non-gimmicky churro of the month basket should begin next month). I know your time is precious so I made sure to write something that will make you rich and famous. I know you are the right Query God for the job because I follow you, I mean I subscribe to your facebook page and follow you on twitter. I feel like I am your number one stalker, I mean fan, having read every one of your tweets about your cats and their daily routine. By the way, did I mention my protagonist is a cat?

I humbly submit my risky manuscript. If I play my cards right you may just write me back telling me no, in no less than 500 different ways. But that is alright because every time my spam filled e-mail shows a response from one of you, my heart starts pounding, and that is enough to hook me like a crack addict.

What is my book about, you want to know? Well, let me tell you. No better yet why don’t you tell me what you want my book to be about and I will start fresh, because I read so many novels that are such crap, yet still get published, that I am confident I can be your stooge if given half the chance.

My credentials you ask? Let me get out the list… Sorry, I had it on the back of a Target receipt and must have tossed it out. Oh, no, wait, I have none! If I seriously had the kind of credentials that would win me a book deal wouldn’t you be writing me this letter?

I would have liked to tell you more but my word count is already up there, risking rejection by a glance. So please, we have strained the alphabet enough. Can’t wait to hear from you, I can tell your as eager about this as I am.

Yours (not in an over friendly, not in an unfriendly way)

Kellee

farr.kellee@gmail.com

1-800-your-stooge

@greatbigimpressivetwitterlink

666 sold my soul dr.

Dyslexic Indie Writer Seeks Holy Grail

I need an editor. I found one that seemed not only a wizard at his craft but advertised to the indie writer. I read into his world and found some posts with character.  I LOVE character! It may have been a risk but I found myself writing in the tone of my personality, instead of the straight forward request the professional world demands.

I found myself smiling as I wrote it. I then chose to send it out into the world, hoping to find more people like the one that thought of having Google write, “SNAP! something went wrong, we are looking into it” (or something similar) in the center of your computer screen when all your programs shut down, in the middle of an important search.

So, here is my risky letter. We will see if I get a response.  Note the link to my twitter site that has a link to this site. If Mr. Editor finds and reads this, I want him to know that I am green with envy at the fact that he can even have a favorite way to use punctuation. This along with many other literary marvels will forever be out of my reach. I stand in awe.

Mr. …….,

I am a dyslexic, indie author with a complete manuscript, looking for a guide to finish my “journey of creation.” I mention dyslexia because this will account for errors that others would catch. I have had people I know proof read my manuscript, along with my best friend Microsoft Word. It is time to pull out the big guns. So, Mr. ……., will you be my big guns?

Oops, I’m jumping the gun. I am interested in information on your fees and would love to have you look at the first 1500 words, so that you might give me an idea of just how big my guns have to be, and how much this weaponry may cost.

I have other projects and would love to form a working relationship with someone I can trust. This particular novel, Old Soul, is a 100,000 word, young adult, paranormal romance.

You may have read this e-mail, excitement building with such promising words like “indie author,” the same emotional draw for the constant little “I haven’t a clue” that is written between every line, and thought, “Score! She MUST be a millionaire, sign me up!” Sadly, I must let you down here and reveal my “starving artist” status. But I ask, who wants to be a millionaire? I do! And I am looking for a few good people to kick the rocks with, on the trail of my journey to greatness.

One final note: I am often going forward in reverse on this rocky trail. It’s the dyslexic’s way. This may look weird but it is never boring.

Hoping this will work out,

Kellee Farr

You can go to https://twitter.com/dyslexicwhisper for a preview of my world.

So there it is, this is the world I want to live in. Through all my years I have met the most amazing people. The ones I connect with, the ones I would like in my life are the ones that love to smile. Would you have sent this? I would like to know why or why not.

If I had a super power

I would not wish for invisibility; I have been able to call on that for years.

I do not need super strength, I was given that gift long ago.

I have no reason to learn to fly because everyday I find a reason to soar.

I can read a room like the most advanced psychic, so there is no need to wish for that one either.

Teleporting might be cool if had not learned to always want to be where I am.

People have thrown around the word genius but that always depends on the room your standing in.

I can decipher codes like no other; just look what I have done with the English language.

I already have heightened senses so that wont make the list.

So, after thinking it through , if I could have a super power I would want it to be some kind of hyper dy slexia.

The kind you read about in a good book. It would unlock the powers of the universe and help bring together God and science. Yes, the only power left would be the one that is still a mystery to me. It offers endless hours of speculation as to what may come next and it has given me so much power already.

Being the exception to the rule

I once bought a parenting book by a very brilliant man. I am sure there were many initials after his name but they escape me. He signed the book and I read it (I was very young and probably needed reassurance of the obvious) anyways, the man wrote parental poetry (my young self concluded). I added it to my mental shelf of parental greatness.

Many years later this author co-wrote another book. It just so happened that the co-author lived in my area AND happen to be hosting a seminar. SO, off I go (dragging my poor husband) to listen to these two parental geniuses enlighten my world. The differences in my world from first book to present shook me to the core. lol

First of all, I ended up being the disruptive guest raising her hand saying “Hey, wait a second, that’s not right. What about this?” They would find a way to dodge the question and move on. My husband, bless his heart, never said a word. So, I listened. And listened.

Now, after getting into the literary world and going through the many stages of getting a book under the public’s nose, I came to see a familiar thread in everything they were preaching, and it wasn’t “we want you guys to leave here better parents.” No, unfortunately, it was “hey, we want you to get the word out about our book and bring people in to buy it. It was just cleverly disguised in parenting tips.

The problem with everything they wrote about wasn’t that it was bad advise, it was just so generic – and in my world there are not many generic children. What these people were saying worked in theory but not in practice.

Case in point: I have a 15 second processing delay, always have, always will. SO, if my mother chose to count to three before taking serious action (under the “you’ve been warned” theory) then by these two parental geniuses account I literary would have never learned what my mother was trying to instill in me.  My mother (bless her heart) knew enough to use 2 1/2, 2 3/4, and so on before pointing to my room. She could see when I could hear her words and then would proceed with the count, giving ample time for me to process.

The couple finally shut me down by saying that my examples were special circumstances. Um, sorry, no they are not. Besides who goes to the self help section for parenting tips that everyone already knows. In my experiences it is the parents with children that have “special circumstances” that buy that crap up. What I did take from their lesson is that I fall in the category of being the exception to the rule almost ALWAYS. lol

Here’s where we flash forward to today. I read a tweet that advertised a discussion of little things that drive editors crazy. Now that seems like auditory gold to me! Sign me up! woot, woot! I research this discussion and find out that they will enlighten writers by letting them in on the repetitive mess ups that make editors crazy. You know, the ones that if we just tried harder we could catch them and save everyone a bunch of unnecessary work. eek. My writing is weighed so heavily with this madness that I must really make them work! ha ha, sorry, but I wouldn’t need an editor if I could see my problems when they were starring at me and say “oh, hey, gotta fix that one.” Dyslexia is like my eyes dancing with the alphabet. And don’t even ask what it does with punctuation. HA HA HA See it myself, that’s funny!

I am still thinking of participating in this discussion, only this time, I wont buy the book. Looking forward to writing my next piece “All the money you can save in 15 seconds or less.”

Look Mom I See In 3D

If I could have told my mother (when I was 6) that I was dyslexic, I would have said, “Look mom I see in 3D.” Not, I’m sorry Mrs. So-in-so your daughter is dyslexic, and by the way we have no idea what to do with her. I would have told her not to worry, because me being the dyslexic that I am, I will look around any road blocks and find another way. And, not to worry mom, because you see, I see with ALL of my senses. I get over stimulated, this is why I am tired ALL of the time. So don’t beat yourself up, just let me sleep in on Saturdays, and understand when I don’t wake up “chipper.” Know, that when my knee bounces up and down, one-hundred miles an hour, it is because looking at, well everything, gives me motion sickness. This helps with that. My stomach aches and that is just a part of who I am. But, I will be okay. The same goes for my arms and legs hurting. When I am at school, I am not, not paying attention; I copy things from the chalk board wrong because I do not see what the other children see. But once again don’t worry, there are other ways. I see things differently and all I need is your support and love.

I read my first book in eighth grade, and it took me months and months. But I LOVED it! When Nintendo came out with the “more advanced” games like Mario and the first Legend of Zelda, I knew my time was right around the corner. I begged for a computer and was given the most basic, low tech type of computer around, but all I saw was my potential. I had no doubt that technology would advance into something that I would one day take advantage of. Needless to say I LOVE Microsoft word. That Microsoft is so clever, all I have to do is get the word similar to what I am looking for and it points me in the right direction. With all of the social media and wonderful inventions like Texting (no vowels, hell yeah!) I am forgiven my lack of perfecting the world of writing. I am not stupid, for what it is worth, my IQ is two points below former President Clinton’s.

Now I am in the process of finishing the last revise of my first book, Old Soul. Yeppers, mom a dyslexic author. Not the first, of course, but I will start by publishing on Amazon e-books for Kindle and maybe someday I will make enough to buy an editor for a book called “Look mom I see in 3D,” by Kellee Farr the dyslexic author. I will finally be able to write how everything will be okay. And sadly enough it will not be something my mom can benefit from but maybe it will help unlock the words for other mother’s, father’s, grandparent’s, teacher’s and caregiver’s that other six-year-old’s cannot find.

So see mom, I will love life like all the other children. I will find a way and you could have enjoyed my childhood without the extra worry. Yes, I dance to a different drummer, but hey, my dance party is broadcast in 3D; the rest of the world is just now catching on. And they pay extra!

Love ya, mom! Your little Blondie.