Being the exception to the rule

I once bought a parenting book by a very brilliant man. I am sure there were many initials after his name but they escape me. He signed the book and I read it (I was very young and probably needed reassurance of the obvious) anyways, the man wrote parental poetry (my young self concluded). I added it to my mental shelf of parental greatness.

Many years later this author co-wrote another book. It just so happened that the co-author lived in my area AND happen to be hosting a seminar. SO, off I go (dragging my poor husband) to listen to these two parental geniuses enlighten my world. The differences in my world from first book to present shook me to the core. lol

First of all, I ended up being the disruptive guest raising her hand saying “Hey, wait a second, that’s not right. What about this?” They would find a way to dodge the question and move on. My husband, bless his heart, never said a word. So, I listened. And listened.

Now, after getting into the literary world and going through the many stages of getting a book under the public’s nose, I came to see a familiar thread in everything they were preaching, and it wasn’t “we want you guys to leave here better parents.” No, unfortunately, it was “hey, we want you to get the word out about our book and bring people in to buy it. It was just cleverly disguised in parenting tips.

The problem with everything they wrote about wasn’t that it was bad advise, it was just so generic – and in my world there are not many generic children. What these people were saying worked in theory but not in practice.

Case in point: I have a 15 second processing delay, always have, always will. SO, if my mother chose to count to three before taking serious action (under the “you’ve been warned” theory) then by these two parental geniuses account I literary would have never learned what my mother was trying to instill in me.  My mother (bless her heart) knew enough to use 2 1/2, 2 3/4, and so on before pointing to my room. She could see when I could hear her words and then would proceed with the count, giving ample time for me to process.

The couple finally shut me down by saying that my examples were special circumstances. Um, sorry, no they are not. Besides who goes to the self help section for parenting tips that everyone already knows. In my experiences it is the parents with children that have “special circumstances” that buy that crap up. What I did take from their lesson is that I fall in the category of being the exception to the rule almost ALWAYS. lol

Here’s where we flash forward to today. I read a tweet that advertised a discussion of little things that drive editors crazy. Now that seems like auditory gold to me! Sign me up! woot, woot! I research this discussion and find out that they will enlighten writers by letting them in on the repetitive mess ups that make editors crazy. You know, the ones that if we just tried harder we could catch them and save everyone a bunch of unnecessary work. eek. My writing is weighed so heavily with this madness that I must really make them work! ha ha, sorry, but I wouldn’t need an editor if I could see my problems when they were starring at me and say “oh, hey, gotta fix that one.” Dyslexia is like my eyes dancing with the alphabet. And don’t even ask what it does with punctuation. HA HA HA See it myself, that’s funny!

I am still thinking of participating in this discussion, only this time, I wont buy the book. Looking forward to writing my next piece “All the money you can save in 15 seconds or less.”

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